...DID go wrong in 2008. Ok, so maybe that's a tad dramatic... but I mean really- see for yourself! In order now:
My boss stopped talking to me.
My home church ended.
I got stuck on a mountain in snow so thick I couldn't see in front of or behind me.
My emotions frequently won the battle of heart versus mind.
I really alienated myself from some of my friends.
I was sick for like 3 weeks, and got the worst, most painful earache every felt by a human.
My friend and I stood up for what's right, and were estranged from our coworkers.
Same friend and I resigned from same job.
I started getting hate mail.
My last check was withheld.
I was threatened with defamation.
My computer died.
My mom drove me over the edge.
My credit limits were (almost) reached.
I was threatened with a lawsuit.
Work stopped coming in.
Home group challenge. Enough said.
My next door neighbor's son harassed one of my girlfriends.
My next door neighbor threatened to get a restraining order against me after I reported what'd happened.
I couldn't find a job to save myself.
I couldn't get myself out of bed.
I lost my church.
I lost my young adults ministry.
I lost my dear friend.
My trust was destroyed.
I lost my last grandmother.
I lost my home group.
I gave up any chance I had to return to PNG any time soon.
A lot of questions were left unanswered.
A lot of prayers were answered with a "no".
Things I never thought I'd lose are now gone.
People let me down.
I let a lot of people down.
It is totally fair to say when something hard happens, there's a refractory period. Could be 2 days, 2 months or 2 years even. This isn't even a full list, and where it stands here, this is like having one disastrous thing happen every 12 days for a whole year. Yeah, that's kind of how it feels too. Just one thing after another. So what's the refractory period for that?
The "alone" thing really weighed me down in all of this. I felt so. unbelievably. alone.
Before you give into the horridly unsympathetic urge to say "oh get over it", who hasn't had a season like this? This is not the post for anything else. But stay tuned. I won't be staying here.
lol - emily! who is going to leave you a comment saying "oh get over it" sheesh! (maybe it was a good idea you lost some of *those* friends :P)
ReplyDelete2009 is looking better, right? Maybe? A little?
ok..how about some Emily's Blend? :)
Wow. No, not even close to telling you to "get over it", but instead to say that I've so, so been there... recently, even. My life gets turned so completely upside down and turned around that I, the one who thinks she can handle everything on her own, am practically forced to throw up my hands and give up and trust that He knows what He's doing.
ReplyDeleteAnd if someone says to you to "get over it", I will personally deck them! ;-)