Rewind to early October 2003- I was a few months into a long and very different journey, moving in the general direction of Christ. I was in a very small home group with Casey Johnson, and we were slowly making our way through The Purpose Driven Life. Something from one of the early chapters really shouted out to me: it was the notion that baptism was how you showed the world your intention to follow Christ. I was stunned! Being brought up Lutheran, baptism was always tied to salvation. Hence my earlier infant baptism. I had already dismissed this teaching as untrue/ unbiblical, but I hadn't really dug for the Truth to replace it. Nevertheless, when this notion of baptism as symbol of "follower" came to me, I was quick to decide, "well this is what I need to do!"
Probably as soon as you decide to do anything for God, Satan moves in and tries to plant doubt in your mind. Having been already baptized, I questioned CONSTANTLY- "is this really necessary?" My parents were completely unsupportive, and non-understanding. "You've already been baptized! Why would you do it again?" And I waited. I sat on it... But not for too long. :)
So it's really cold, and it's pretty early, and I'm sitting in a corner of the huge dining room by the fire place (not lit- wish it were). Bible in lap, I looked up every verse listed that touched on baptism. I read about John baptizing people to show they were turning toward the Coming Messiah, Jesus being baptized before starting His ministry... Paul's words spoke the loudest.
"Well then, should we keep on sinning so that God can show us more and more kindness and forgiveness? Of course not! Since we have died to sin, how can we continue to live in it? Or have you forgotten that when we became Christians and were baptized to become one with Christ Jesus, we died with Him? For we died and were buried with Christ by baptism. And just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glorious power of the Father, now we also may live new lives."
Wow.
Some time while I was reading all this, a girl approached me- she was who I'd been paired up with to "get to know better", spend some time with, etc. over the weekend. She sat down, asked what I was reading, talked with me for a while, and prayed with me too. The first of many times we'd pray and share scripture together- as this "girl I barely knew" turned into my dear, sweet, wonderful friend Michaela.
I remember standing out by the pool in shorts and a t-shirt, wind blowing, freezing quickly- even with a blanket around me. Two guys were also out there in shorts. We huddled together and prayed for each other- for the lives we wanted to live, and the direction we wanted to intentionally turn toward. I remember the water- INSANELY cold! Casey asked, "are you ready?", and I nodded yes. I remember scanning the crowd at the edge of the pool for one particular person, and becoming almost panicked in my mind, as that person eluded me. (Hindsight makes me eternally grateful for that- but that's a different story for another time) "Emily, I baptize you..."
I remember a moment... And a feeling... Right before going under, time stopped. It was a feeling of panic, and of letting go. Something within me registered that things would be different now. That feeling was of being erased. Everything within me felt erased. I did not come up the same person.
Five years forward- I could not have humanly imagined the life God had/has in store for me. This is not the life I thought I'd lead, and I am eternally grateful for it! God has allowed for so much growth, pain, love, learning... He gave me a family, a church home, a ministry- and an ability to trust Him when those were taken away too. He's given me people to spur me on, and it's their friendship I am most grateful for. I love our Lord.
Happy Rebirthday.