Sunday, December 07, 2008

I Don't Ask For Crazy...

(disclaimer- there's good stuff in here, but you're gonna have to read down to find it...)

... It just has a way of finding me... Especially, for some reason, this year. 2008 has been INSANE!! So many bad things have happened... I remember commenting to one of my girlfriends about it after yet another thing pummeled me, "you know, I'm not asking for this. Am I doing something inadvertently to bring this stuff on?" She said it didn't seem like I was, because I didn't have control over what the things that were happening. I don't know... It's gotten really old though... I'm not going to be sad when 2008 is over.

So here's the latest crazy:
I went camping this weekend with Revolution, and had a blast! I gave this girl a ride up to the campsite, though, and after some stuff that I'm not going to put in here (to protect the innocent AND guilty), this is the PUBLIC WALL POSTING she put on my facebook page:
Hello. We need to talk. I don't appreciate your attitude towards me on Fri/Sat. You are very aggressive towards people and do not back down when you are being rude! It is not your place to tell people how to act (like you want them to), what to drink, and how to do things "your way". You need to have more compassion for people and treat people like YOU want to be treated. Live the bible not just read it.

Usually, I will blame myself for the shortcomings of others untill I'm 29 feet into a pit, and totally guilt-ridden. I have to fight NOT to come down on myself, and instead, tend to believe everyone else is perfect and I'm the only schmuck. I'm the bitch. I deserve whatever people dish me. For a long time, I have lived out these beliefs... And I'm stuggling with all my might NOW to do the opposite: let go when needed, unshoulder the burden of responsibility for other peoples' meanness, self-centered-ness, anger, misery, and come to grips with the fact that I really DON'T have to be everyone's friend. I don't HAVE TO be everything to everyone. It's very freeing...

Back to this wall post though... "Crazy wall post" was quickly followed by another post, from a friend who I love even more now:
Dear _____ (name deleted to protect the guilty)... I don't know you, but for some reason, I feel lead to respond to your post. You know that Emily's not checking her facebook for the weekend, so it seems to me that you took a cheap shot at her knowing it wouldn't be quickly deleted. I guess that's why I'd like to say something on her behalf. While there may be some truth in your message to Emily, you're approach to communicating with her could've been handled differently. Just a friendly reminder for the future, if you feel that you've been offended, God prefers that you go first to that person privately to discuss the matter. Publicly venting your feelings toward her on facebook is not God's preference! :) ... in your own words, "treat people like you want to be treated."

And another friend I just adore... are such an amazingly graceful person!! I would've told that girl that she was a hipocrite ass!!!! She's complaining that you tell people how to act when she's telling you how to act? If she even half knew you, she would know how awesome of a person and friend you are. Message to ___...Grow Up!! You don't deserve a friend like Emily!

And then my SISTER chimed in...
____, you may have felt that Emily was agressive etc to you, and that may or may not have been justified. However, through your post you have now shown the world (at least the FB world) what kind of a person YOU are. Next time someone bugs you, grow up and talk to that person privately about it.

You really just never know... You never know who will come to your aid- when you're guilty and when you're not.

I swear that I have the best friends in the world. I remember, several years back now, a time when I didn't have many friends at all. I had to go to the hospital after a car accident, and the person who brought me to the hospital said he didn't want to wait around, so I should find a ride home with one of my friends. I felt so alone in that moment, because I didn't feel like I had any real friends.

I can't truthfully say that's the case any more though. I fight loneliness a lot, but God really has blessed me with good friendships- that feed me spiritually and emotionally, and every once in a while, that come to my aid and reach down into the pit to pull me up.